Walking with God

I haven’t had a simple life, lived a simple existence but there has been many twist and turns in my ride through life.

Life has dropped its shoulder and sucked out the opposite direction with a rattle and roll, bucked me high in the air, put me in a spin but each and every time I shook myself off and got back on.

I was never meant to be born, my parents had an issue where as after the first child was born my mothers body kept killing off the fetus there after.

So a period of 7 years and a number of my siblings failed, I persevered to be born, born with yellow jaundice but all good.

A discovery of the issue my mother had that later lead to more normal pregnancies.

Born on a remote station and raised in a mostly hot and unforgiving environment where small mistakes can lead to death.

My grandmother was a devout Catholic and my mother a watered down version of her.

I was verbally told of bible stories as a child, we had a pastor fly his plane into the remote primary school once a month for a few years for religious doctrine, I think Anglican. 

We had an indigenous tribe camped up the front of the station and a huge corroboree site (indigenous ceremonial site) in the middle of the property.

We were on the ancient trade route from far northern Queensland down through us into South Australia, Victoria and onto the river system ,we were the hub to all routes.

So I grew up with a strong belonging to the land.

For secondary school I was sent into Broken Hill to become a boarder at a Salvation Army boys home while attending a Catholic Marist Brothers school. 

A really tough period of life, my mother dropped me off stating she would return at 3pm but never did.

I didn’t know if she was running late, died in a car crash, tending to someone…. My mind was running wild and physically fought with staff to remain in the library that evening, eventually sleeping in there so my mother could find me if she returned during the night.

Next morning I was extracted, showered, dressed and delivered to school some kms away. 

The “home” was a nice politically correct way of saying jail for juveniles, lock downs, standing in line, duties, stand to attention, rife with physical beatings and sexual predators.

School on the other hand was intimidating but safe, hundreds of kids, squawking like birds around a water hole.

It was here that I would meet God.

A 12 year old soft hearted, physically strong and athletic boy removed from his known world, dropped in amidst hungry predators, strange customs, smells, sounds and people, so many people.

Religious lessons every day for a year, start and finish every class with a prayer and the day as a whole.

Then there was school mass and public mass at the adjacent Catholic cathedral that my mother and grandmother had visited many times before me. 

Salvation Army Sunday School and general church service.

After the first year I refused to go back to town but compromised to stay with my grandfather, very lonely existence but no weekend religion which I appreciated.

Then I spent time with an Aunty and her husband before attending another boarding home run by Anglicans, more weekend religion which I really resented.

By this time I was 15 yrs, I stood 6 foot, was a strong sinewy type that was jovial but with a zero tolerance to anyone attempting to step on me or stand over me.

Retaliation was swift.

The Lord was deeply entrenched in my heart and everything was very black and white for me for the worst my situation became the more I would seek Jesus for help. 

I departed school at 16 and went inland to work over station properties and even though I still believed in God I began to eventually stray more and more from gods law, choosing not the narrow gate.

I married later in life at 27, I had been away from home 15 years by now.

I found it imperative that I marry a wife of a religious background, I found that in my wife who was raised a Lutheran, Sunday school and all, my Melanie was delivered to me from God.

I was at a dangerous point of life living a dangerous occupation and God like so many times up to this point reached out and joined us together.

Melanie taught me to forgive and tolerance.

I had stopped forgiving when I was 12. 

“God had delivered a correction to my path”.

Slowly but surely my wife wore the rough edges off me and we raised 4 children in the law of God our Father but not in faith, a big mistake I fear.

My wife and I have been extremely successful in most things we have done, I prayed to the Lord regularly, especially if I needed advice and gave thanks on his delivery, not always because sometimes I was blind to him or took the glory for myself.

I had a major accident bruising my brain, breaking my back, crushed my hands, removed a finger, 74 breaks in my chest, bruised lungs, collapsed one and broke pelvis…

Psalm 46:10, be still and know that I am God.

I had become an over achiever and a workaholic in an attempt to evade issues in my past.

“God had delivered a correction to my path”.

I was made stationary for almost a year, I had time to think, a lot!!!

This is when I started putting together a method to train a horse so my children could train themselves, 4 of them from 4.5-9 years of age.

This was the beginning of 4BP, all the little horse tricks I had learnt all my life, all the trauma from my situations that God lead me out of finally made sense within the training.

Without my life of issues and god assisting me, 4BP could never have been  conceived.

Every time I ventured away from horses my body would become crippled but the moment I returned, it would become well again.

My wife’s constant encouragement to work with horses and people instead of the properties paid off with the establishment of 4BP Horses.

“God had delivered a correction to my path”.

We decided that we would sell one of our properties, the larger one and maintain the easy to operate property, our first owned property.

After 12 months of development, break of the drought, the property was ready for sale.

I suggested to God that if we were somehow to gain more money than the list price I could see myself donating everything that I had developed for horses and humans to the world for free, I could also dedicate myself to assisting in peoples healing.

We had a genuine interest who was returning for a third inspection on Saturday morning , last 15 minutes of business on Friday we received an interest that resulted in a purchase and a premium of about 25%.

“I gave thanks to the Lord”.

I have always considered myself a Christian, God has walked with me always, even when I was sinning, like any understanding father he was waiting there for me to acknowledge him and stand me back up.

Even though I prayed regularly, I gave thanks, I started reading scripture, it wasn’t enough.

“The Lord still needed to correct my path”.

The action was the most painful in my entire life, my world stopped instantly, grief like I didn’t know existed yet it led to the happiest moment in my life.

Romans 10: 9-10

I found salvation through Jesus Christ.

Someone I knew, had walked with, I had talked with yet never asked to be free of my sins and believe in faith above flesh.

Finally all the weight of what had transpired in my life was gone.

I opened my eyes, cleared my mind to see what was required of me. 

It’s not enough to just know God.

It’s not enough to pray and be a good person. 

The only way to ever lasting happiness is through Jesus in Romans 10: 9-10

To live in faith simply means believe in the father, the son and the Holy Spirit, don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow, ask for god to lead you… that simple.

Live by the law of God, it’s not that hard, we fail daily but if we are trying and have sort salvation then we are forgiven by the grace of God.

So now I attempt to read a few pages of scripture each day, I listen to a bit of scripture every day, I attend a scripture based church on Sunday and prayer group that evening.

I find it rewarding to be with people that exude spiritual positivity, it recharges me for the week of healing ahead.

Now after half a century of thinking God was punishing me I am now resolved with the knowledge that he was training me so that I could deliver these programs of trauma relief and horse training to the world to make it a better place and have people like me seek salvation.

Now I live in the light, God leads the way, I give all that I have achieved to the world for free and acknowledge that the glory of my achievements go to the lord.

I am but here to humbly administer his will with joy.